The Drunken Observer
sometime in the early morning on 12/05/04
by OC Rambler
As Majak says. "Je n'ai aucune main!" At least that's what he says
if he speaks French. I couldn't find an online Kenyan translator.
Possibly because I don't know what language they speak in Kenya. Is
it French? It might be. They definitely speak French in Cananda.
Parts, anyways. French is hot. Chicks LOVE it.
So the Ramblers hit FIVE STRAIGHT THREES. Drop it like its hot. And
then they lost anyways. Oh well, that 17-2 run was nasty. Imagine if
ANY of those threes had been off a screen. I really think they all
came off the dribble; that's ridiculous. Sweet, but ridiculous. This
team is taking major strides, but has a lot of work ahead of it. Put
a lot of talent on a Whitesell coached team, I think we whup this
league. We've got some decent players, and DaJuan "I suck" Guoard has
come a long way from the palyer I despised a year ago (because he was
no good), but still, not a great option at the point.
Other highlights include "Motumbo" Kou's three blocked shots in the first
half, that was fereakign awesome. I misspelled the hell out of that
word, but I'm not going back for it. Also sweet was the couple easy
points we scored off of diagrammed plays under the basket after
timeouts; I definitely can recall one to Schilb, and I think there was
at least one other. Sad that that can make us happy, but there it is;
when you get used to crap for half a decade, it's all about the little
things. That was Larry Farmer for you.
We are far better today than this Northern Iowa team minus that five-minute stretch at the end of the
first/beginning of the second. I, unfortunately, feel like that's going
to be the MO for this team this year; little stretches that kill us,
but SO MUCH BETTER THAN A FARMER TEAM. Actually bearable to watch, and
feel like the players care at least as much as the fans, if not more;
something that pathetically was not the case for much of the past 7
years I've been a Rambler. The future is bright at LU for a change.
So we lost -- no big deal. Done that before; we check out of Genitle
and hit up hospitality. Ok. Not the free beer of the past, but I'll
deal with it. We definitely closed out Zips, or whatever the heck
they call it after a couple of hours. Had to leave because Nagel's
dad kept grabbing his mom's butt. Nagel, wtf? Seriously. Not cool.
Then to Bruno's. Where was eveyrone? Maroon bailed early, "Dinner
with the girlfriend!" Kdiddy, the same thing. Please. And
Classless? Dios mio, man. Ochi theos katadikazo tropos. I have no
idea what that means.
My family showed up tonight, thought Ramblers were sweet. Actually, he's
my cousin-in-law. And his exact quote was "This place is
re-donkulous." Referring to Hamilton's. And he's right. Hysterical.
Our cab driver told us we smelled like crap. That's amazing; how
many bar-smelling fools do you think a cabbie drives in a night? Just
because the two of us spent the last ten hours in Bruno's and Hamilton's,
we need to be singled out?
THIS BOOZETASTIC MOMENT IN RAMBLERMANIAC HISTORY.
Date -- the day after the Sig Pi formal in spring of '02. I don't
know the actual date. Kdiddy and I went to this sorority formal -- my
date was hot, his not so much. I don't know if that's true or not, I
can't remember who took him but let's go with it. Anyways, there are a
few other baseball players there, so we're all having fun together,
even though sorority girls suck -- or at least they suck when they
sleep with random dudes in Florida on spring break when they're
allegedly dating you, but whatever. Kdiddy gets WAY more messed up
than the rest of us, even though he's supposed to be pitching the next
morning in our game against Columbia. I drag my ass out of bed and
get to the field down at Recreation drive despite the absolutely freezing
conditions; it must have been about 35 degrees out. We're cruising
through the first game, beating up Columbia, per usual, though
wondering who's going to pitch the second half since kddidy has
apparently bailed. Suddenly, up rolls kdid's mustang. And out he
steps, sporting the maroon and gold jersey we all love, with the
rocking gray tight pants, and the bitching bumblebee socks. WITH A
TUXEDO OVER ALL OF IT TO KEEP WARM. Amazing, Kevin, amazing. So he
pitches game two of our double header -- in a tuxedo -- and strikes
out 10 in 6 innings. He falls asleep at least once in between
innings. Earns the W -- AND his real nickname, "Busch Lite."
Previous Columns:
The Drunken Observer - 11/07/04
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/29/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/22/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/15/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/08/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/01/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 11/24/03