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The Drunken Observer
In retrospect on 03/06/05by Big Joe
Though I’m not drunk at the moment, and thus breaking the rules of the Drunken Observer I can’t help but feel the urge to share with the Ramblermania kingdom the happenings of the past weekend in Milwaukee. My arms are still sore from Friday. I must have pumped my fist so many times over the course of the evening on Friday that it actually constituted a workout. I have a sore right arm from about half up my forearm through my bicep. On Saturday I thought I might be having a stroke because I couldn’t feel part of my right hand, but soon realized it was just from delivering what might be the world’s record number of high fives. These weren’t your ordinary “yeah, way to go” high fives either. These were the get ready and set yourself because I’m stepping into this one kind of high five. The kind where you smile, either because of the happiness or because of the pain just inflicted upon both recipients of the high five.
Coming up on Friday I had a feeling. It wasn’t the good feeling I had before the game at UIC earlier this year, it was different. I knew the game would be tough, but I knew Loyola would pull out the victory. I dreamt it. I literally had a dream Thursday night while sleeping. I was sitting in the seats in section 221 and I look up at the scoreboard and see a final score of Loyola defeating UIC by the score of 84 to 78. The actual final score of 87-81 wasn’t too far off and I had the six point differential right on. Call me crazy, but that dream was up there with some of the good ones you have as a teenager on the brink of your voice changing. It’s a problem, but I’m glad that I have a whole lot of people to share it with. Loyola basketball, that is.
How about that showing of UIC fans. The school gives them a bus ride, a ticket, a massage on the bus and lord knows how many more perks to show up at a freaking basketball game and how many people show? 100 tops and that includes their 52-person dance team. Pathetic. Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore they’re done. It’s like those old Bulls teams when they finally got past the aging Pistons. That was the last time anyone ever heard about the Pistons bothering the Bulls again. Well let’s do the same with the Flames. Oh, but they’re season maybe isn’t over yet. Some people on their board are asking if a 15-14, fifth place Horizon League team is going to the NIT. Tell you what, hold your breath and wait for that one, we could use one less UIC fan and get the number down under double digits.
I had a bad feeling at the halftime of that game and the ghost of Larry Farmer certainly was being felt by me. It’s going to take some time for myself and many others to actually get used to a coach making halftime adjustments that work. That second half the Ramblers scored 46 and had the game in the bag until the refs worked them over. Now I know there are people around who call us crazy, but even the casual fan noticed the screw-job going on. Our group had a couple of people who were watching their first LU game of the year and knew little to nothing of the Horizon League piss poor officiating problem. After the game this guy asks me what the hell was going on out on the court the last couple of minutes. I told him that if what you saw out there tonight was shocking to you stick around for a couple of years and save up for jaw replacement surgery because you’ll need it with how many times it’ll drop in awe over what happens in this league.
After a while a coincidence is no longer a coincidence, but a pattern and the Horizon League has established a pattern. That pattern was in full effect on Friday. As one Detroit fan told us, “Loyola won that game three times.” Heck that has to be the best win we’ve seen ever. Loyola is usually outmanned eight to five on the court. But Friday evening the odds were even more stacked against us and Loyola prevailed five against nine. And everyone knows who that ninth man was.
So despite that asinine call on Blair and an even worse call against Blake the Ramblers hung tough and prevailed. When Blake hit that jumper and got fouled for the three-point play it was the dagger in the heart. For all that Cedrick and Armond did to Loyola over the past, what was it, eight years or so it was sweet to see them go down to the Ramblers, a group of young Ramblers at that. Tough break for the Horizon League, they don’t get to exploit the Jimmy Collins and Bruce Pearl feud for the umpteenth time. Maybe they’ll have Blake write a letter of apology for screwing up their precious bracket.
Blake Schilb may be the best player I’ve ever seen at Loyola. Granted, I’ve only been doing this for a few years and Wayne Plowman was in my top ten up until this past December, but Blake is something. Javan wasn’t like that as a sophomore, neither was Bailey. The great thing is that Blake should get better. He’s got a coach that will help him improve. That’s a more exciting prospect than anything that Blake and the Ramblers have done to this point all year, they’re going to get better.
How about Shay Boyle’s Lambeau Leap. That little guy gets fired up, you have to love that. Thank goodness it wasn’t Howard Moore, I don’t know if the fans would have been able to pick him up into the stands.
Off at Goolsby’s after the game, Titan Reggie from the Detroit fan site led the inspired crowd in a rousing two-minute long version of screaming LU over and over again.
The Ramblermania Road Trip eventually worked its way to Water Street and made a significant dent in the world’s supply of Light Beer and Red Bull. At one point in the evening we all decided it was time to start singing. I think one would be amazed at how easy it is to work in some version of the phrase “UIC sucks” into a song. Just off the top of my head the best song was a rousing rendition of Blink 182’s “What’s my age again.” There’s a line in the song that reads as follows, “Nobody likes you when you’re 23.” Well, it was quite simple to insert UIC for 23 and scream that each time, highly entertaining at one in the morning.
Milwaukee’s biggest problem is that there are zero late bars. At 2 am the city shuts down. No booze, little food, nothing. So drunk at 2 am we go to Oakland Gyros. I have been to Milwaukee several times in recent history and each time I get drunk and go to Oakland Gyros. On my life right now I couldn’t tell you where it’s at or how to get there. But damn they make a tasty gyro. In fact that’s all you can get. They have a full menu on the wall and even pretend to listen to your order, but whatever you say you’re getting a gyro. I swear my friend ordered a cheeseburger with fries and a coke. He got a gyro with an extra cucumber sauce.
Everyone knew what was coming Saturday. With the odds so highly stacked against the Ramblers, Saturday officially became national gravy day for the Ramblers. We, as fans, knew the Ramblers already overcame near insurmountable odds the night before and it took a lot out of that team to do that. So Saturday, we had hope, the kind of hope that everyone has for their team. To do it one more time, stick it to them again. I swear if they played Milwaukee an hour after the UIC game on Friday I would have liked Loyola’s chances more. As it was the Ramblers made a great run and made a whole lot of Ramblers fan very happy and more indirectly, extremely drunk.
And like Blake Schilb said, and I’m paraphrasing here, see you next year.
Below is a list of quotations compiled over the course of the weekend. Most of them are highly entertaining and reasonably self-explanatory. Any quote that you don’t understand the context of, just think what’s the most offensive and drunken situation in which this phrase could have been uttered, that’s probably it.
• “From now on I’m watching professional wrestling; at least they admit that it’s fixed.”
• “He told me to smack her ass, so I did.”
• “Of course, I’m drinking Malibu what do you think this is, water?”
• “I don’t even like Malibu that much, but I’m a huge fan of drinking.”
• “You guys had to win that game three times.”
• “Use these napkins to touch stuff so you don’t get your fingerprints on anything.”
• “Whoa!!!! How ‘bout them Ramblers!!!!!”
• “Tonight I declare that Milwaukee is officially Chicago north.”
• “I’m still alive.”
• “I love the hobo life, stabbing people with my hobo knife.”
• “So what’s better, South Africa or Sudan?”
• “I know you have secret beer that you can sell me”
• Of course I’d have sex with him, married and pregnant.”
• “I’m sorry, wrong room.”
• “The best part about being in Milwaukee is being in Milwaukee with you.”
• “At least Ced and Armond will be able to fall back on their degrees.”
Previous Columns:
The Drunken Observer - 2/17/05
The Drunken Observer - 1/16/05
The Drunken Observer - 1/14/05
The Drunken Observer - 1/07/05
The Drunken Observer - 1/05/05
The Drunken Observer - 12/05/04
The Drunken Observer - 11/07/04
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/29/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/22/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/15/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/08/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 12/01/03
Big Joe's Two Shots and the Ball - 11/24/03